....and the painted ponies go up and down....

We're captive on a carousel of time.
We can't return, we can only look behind, from where we came
And go round, and round, and round in the circle game.

....and it just continues. What a wishy-washy person I am.  Decided I could deal with some issues and wanted him back with some special terms.  Well my terms meant I was compromising my values.  I got my head back and gave basically an ultimatum.  I hate ultimatums so I don't want to call it that, but basically it was.  We could do SL together if....and I wanted a decision by Valentines Day.  He weighed through all the options I had mentioned and had lots of his own thinking to do, and decided he wanted me, making the decision a few days before the big VD.

Now don't go getting into a tizzy thinking I folded or that he's controlling me (he knows I'm not controllable!).  We had lots of very calm, rational talks.  Which is the reason I adore him and how our connection began. Communication was pretty damn phenomenal. I just don't think the details are anyone's business but ours. There was never ugliness but there was a chink in our communication. You know, Mars/Venus. We're on the same page again.

.

Yesterday I got a delivery via Marketplace saying he had bought me a ring.  When I opened that email, my gasp sucked all the air out of RL and SL I'm sure. He said the ball is in my court now. I feel like the Hallmark movie happy ending, filled with happy tears.

....it's a carousel...

 ...and the seasons, they go round and round, and the painted ponies go up and down....

Carousel by Joni Mitchell. It's where I am right now.  Haven't posted in ages.  I was with that SL man for over two years. Until just a week or so ago when we split up. 

My heart still hurts and honestly, I miss him. I am the one that called it - and wouldn't let up. Minor communication issue between the two of us who communicate so well. This sucks. But the connection is undeniable and my sl/rl will never be the same. He was worth meeting, he was worth the time. Do I wish I could take it all back? Yes, sometimes I do. I have never had that kind of connection.

Broken.

Hello??? It is MY SL don't tell me how to do it....

I had tossed my hat back in the dating ring.  Boards at dating site and AVMatch.  I've connected with probably 10 people so far.  What I have learned is that the majority of people seem to have strong opinions on how others should live their SL, what they should post on their blogs, what should be in their profile, and that many of them not only "know" what is best for you, but they know what you think before you do.....at least they *think* they do.   Unbelievable.  

Where the heck does that "privilege" come from?  Seriously?  What about meeting people, taking their words as their truth.  Learning about them.  And stop the ASSUMING.  Cause you know that whole ass thing......

There are some amazing people in SL, thank goodness.  I have met a few and those who are already in my life are treasured.  

However, I can't tolerate the big headed know-it-alls that have preformed opinions and think they know best for others and give unsolicited advice constantly to a newly met, potential friend, at a minimum.  

I'm going it alone.  

3/24/22 update:  Prior post has an update.  I'm NOT going it alone.  My man will be back. He will escape RL eventually and come back to me but until then, I'm content.  And very fuzzy excited inside.  That whole absence makes the heart......

… miss you …

A very special someone was in my life. Then RL got super busy for him. He was last in three weeks ago.  He’s such a wonderful man, he has indicated he will be back at some time, but said something about “if you don’t replace me.”

I’m not big on social media or texting services really and don’t have discord on my phone. He’s been on my mind and my eyes were leaking today, so I logged in to discord on my desktop and had to send a note. 

Rhawnie: .....miss you.....  (yup, that was all)

Travis: (some rl stuff you don’t get to know) …. and I miss you too … really do, my batgirl …. Really do ….

It’s kind of a melancholy thing. I did think he would be back and I’d been holding out hope. Recently I had kind of given up and today was really tough. That response makes my heart warm. His special term of endearment and reemphasizing that he missed me. I’m still smitten. 

Update 3/24/22:  He WILL BE BACK!  He popped in to SL this morning to take care of tiers and when this period of crazy busy RL is through.....he will be back.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel now and it is worth it.  He is worth it.  We are worth it.  Tell me at the beginning when we were struggling with the lack of time that I'd go through basically month/s without him and be ok with it?  I'd have thought you were nuts.  But I am.  The connection is that strong and worth it.  He is my person.

LAUGH!

As we age, we all take ourselves too seriously.  We need to laugh more.  In all worlds.  

WTG is BACK!

WTG Jewelry is back!  Almost exactly eight years ago exactly, I wrote a blog post in which I wore and credited WTG Jewelry with their amazing La Fleur nails.  See it here and check out the photos.  Today...a whopping eight years (less seven days) later, I'm writing a blog post that is all about the WTG La Fleur nails.  The new ones.  The ones that will fit your new mesh bodies.  Maitreya, Belleza, Reborn, Erika, and Legacy.  Today's version has a hud that will give you a myriad of options.  

Imagine my excitement when tosy Xue sent me the current La Fleur!  This is only the start of the new store.  Take the taxi below to get there and be sure to join the group.  There is a group gift for members as well.

Taxi to the store

I'm not single in both worlds...anymore!

I was asked if I would write a blog post that would update my last one, which apparently was quite woeful on the single existence I had been living and my inability to meet men who are in world when I am.  In exchange, I would become a "pick" in his profile.  This man drives a hard deal (ha!)

Being asked that made me go back and read that post because I hadn't remembered it being woeful or a downer on meeting people.  But this guy can read me and that was underlying tone.  He keeps saying he "knows me too well.” Perhaps he does, but he's got some surprises in store.

So yeah, not single. We're going together to take down our boards at Lonely Hearts Dating.  Kind of a fun date, huh?  Follow that up with pizza.  

So if you read the last one, my frustration was meeting guys that weren't in world when I was or in reality, in world such a short time together.  Well, guess who I met?  Yea.  Again.  Another not in world often at the same times.  But know what?  This is THE guy.  The convo was amazing from the start.  Battle of intelligence at times.  He likes to challenge me or think he has a tidbit I won't know about. But I surprise him.  I think we both like that.  Our time is quality and good.  My boundaries have slipped and now we are often on discord for hours.  Touch base.  Home.  Comfort.  That is what he's become.  I'm a believer in fighting for relationships.  The special ones are rare and hard to find.  We make our time work and find additional time. Because it's worth fighting for. We click.  I'm betting there will soon be a time we complete each others sentences. Happens a bit, but afraid it's going to be a "communicate with a look, finish the sentence" relationship.  

So.....I've found mine.  I'm his fav batgirl and lioness and he's my king of beasts, my he lion, mine. Despite the time issue.  And my walls.  And my boundaries (which are falling.)  He's worth it.

Apparently I’ve gained an editor. He likes besting me by correcting my punctuation. He hasn’t received the memo that I make up my own rules. (I’ll take the editor and learn.) 

…..and now this is running through my head…..

I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie
All the day and night-time hear me sigh
I never had the least notion
That I could fall with so much emotion

Could you coo, could you care
For a cunning cottage that we could share
The world will pardon my mush
'Cause I have got a crush, my baby on you

(gonna guess he will be surprised I know this song and actually like the sappy thing)