In a world between.....

Random ramble.....I've been wandering SL lately kind of without purpose, just being.  I'm so thankful for *VoguE* and my job there as manager.  Through the tough times, shattered heart, not knowing what to do with myself.....it has kept me sane.  Once, I was handed a bunch of outfits and told "go style them".  That kept my mind busy.  Lately, it is just plain busy.  Period.  I love it.  I don't often let myself have down time to think and contemplate the heartache but I did last night.

Where better than at home.  I have these cute flower seats outside my studo, which is surrounded by water.  I live in the most marvelous, gorgeous area.  Green. lush, landscaped beautifully.....the majority of the sim is owned by two people with an interest in creating a beautiful environment. I was fortunate enough to get one of the last plots and even more fortunate that I snapped it up before one of them did!

Last night I sat out by the little inlet of water that comes up to the house, watching my swans slowly swim among the reeds.  Peace is what I needed and found at home....not loneliness last night.  Contentment.  Although my heart hates being alone and the ache is very painful still, the tears too fresh to fall, I was content last night at least.  I don't often open up like this but felt very vulnerable and tired of keeping things hidden.  Yes, my heart is ripped to shreds.  Yes I hurt, badly.  Perhaps I shouldn't have given so much of myself but I'm one of those "in for a dime in for a dollar."  I just do, you get me and you get it all.  Dedication, devotion, I'll stand by always.  To have that tossed back at me killed me inside.  And sometimes I have to let a bit of it out and not do the "I'm ok" bit.  When I'm not.

They say time heals all wounds, I wonder how long this one will take.